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Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Grrrrrr.................

So I really don't know what I want this blog page for. One part of me wants it for my magical wanderings and what not but it seems I have more everyday bs and annoyances that drive me up the wall and I only have one way to get it out. And it's this blog. I know no one is reading it and I don't care I just have a load of crap to get off my chest. With that work is really starting to suck, I'm not good with big corporate type places. It's just not for me. I hate being judged day in and day out and even working my ass off and killing myself it's still not good enough. I need a small business, individually owned and what not. Somewhere that I feel it's my home. I worked for a chiropractor for seven years and when he retired I knew I would never find another employer like him. And hence five years later I still find myself looking for the perfect place. Everyone says go back to school. But for what? Can't go to school if I have no idea what I want to do with my life.

Grrrrrr.................and with that on my plate I still find myself struggling with my current love/relationship. He has hurt me a million times and I still don't trust him and I don't know if I want to trust him. I feel at times I just want to be alone and on the other hand I feel as if I can't be without him.

Next is my magical path. I feel myself wanting to concentrate more on my path but having no one to do it with kinda sucks. I've been solitary for over 15 years and now feeling the need for a partner. My oldest daughter is wanting to learn more so I'm teaching her the craft and we have our little once a month coven meeting on a full moon to do ritual and to do teachings. So that's helping a little filling the void but I still need/want more. My friends all claim to be pagan/wiccan but they don't practice on a regular basis and don't feel the need to do anything with me. So yeah that's been bothering me as well.

Okay with all that complaining I guess I shall get back to my everyday life and try to fix some of this. I shall keep everyone informed with any changes and updates. Till them.....

Blessed Be )O(